I was in a television ad for a new product (I don’t remember the name, but that’s irrelevant). It was this weird little 3D animal sticker that looked like a cross between a rat, a rabid squirrel, and a cat. It was advertised as a “driving assistant” to help you reverse out of your garage. The commercial proceeded to show me backing out of the garage and pulling the Home Alone

because I was too scared to back out, fearing I would break off a car mirror or hit somebody. The miracle product goes on the inner wall of the garage door frame and you’re supposed to watch the creature carefully as you back out “because you wouldn’t want to hit such a cute thing”. Once your sideview mirrors are safely past the little guy, you’re supposed to remember to keep looking behind you. “If you see the nipples of a jogger, you should stop.”

And those were the instructions for perfectly backing out of the garage.

It seems like a pointless product, but I’m assuming it’s sold as a joke in some South of the Border novelty store. Maybe I should scratch the side of my car coming out of my garage as an excuse to get one. Seriously, I’m not sure what this dream means, but I’m never eating in Harcombe again.

I was getting hungry, so I decided to hop in the car and go grab some Chick-Fil-A (it’s my comfort food). I searched my Tom Tom for a point of interest and easily put in the destination. 30 seconds away from “Chick-Fil-A”, we go through a tunnel, and 30 seconds later, right in the middle, we’re supposedly there. So no Chick-Fil-A. This was not going to fly. I was hungry and starting to get pissed.

I wasn’t going to give up that easily. If that Chick-Fil-A was a bust, there has to be another one somewhere. Indeed there was one in the GPS, so I turn around and follow the new directions. Apparently the signal in Asheville isn’t the best, so my GPS Is going wild and keeps changing directions on me. One minute I’m supposed to be going straight, the next minute I’m passing the turn I should have taken from the other lane! Not to mention the distinct lack of blinkerage and the city-wide speed limit of 35.

Eventually I find the Chick-Fil-A and I’m amazed to see that it’s a drive-through ONLY! This is something I’ve never seen before. It’s not the rinky-dink-drive-through with two windows, but there’s an offshoot from the building with it’s own separate drive-through. In looking at this situation, I was wondering how they got the food from the kitchen in the other building over to the customers at the second drive-through, so I asked the gentleman at the window. It turns out that there’s a train that carries the food through the roof! I just sat there and looked at him with my mouth hanging open until they quickly handed me my food. Seriously! A train!

Not wanting to eat in the car, I chose to take my food to the ample outdoor seating area. It was only then that I saw there was a walk-up service, too! This was the coolest Chick-Fil-A ever.

So, Chick-Fil-A, I salute you.

After seeing how little of the population my age actually volunteers, I’ve never been more proud to be a Boy Scout. Geez, people! Get out and go do something!

But I’m afraid that if I do take a nap, I might not wake up.

Oh, what a shame.

Somebody asked me a question the other day and it rubbed me the wrong way. For those who ask me questions in the future, please remember that answering your own question and saying “…, right?” at the end, does not cut it. You should take what answer I give you, even if it’s not the one you’re hoping for.

I recently received an email from an academic advisor at Clemson. While she meant to send the email out to a colleague about a listserv, she sent it to all of the people on the listserv.

While a normal person would realize that this email was a mistake, several people hit “Reply All” and unnecessarily sent a message questioning the email to everyone on the listserv.

One of my favorite responses was:
sorry, I dont understand what this is?

I’m not sure if the proper use of capitalization, apostrophes, and question marks is taught in Clemson, but I’m pretty sure that [name redacted for preservation of image] needs to take that class and not Drinking and Slutting 101. (I’m not quite sure if that’s a graduate class or not)

Here are the perks of Tillman Place:

• High-Speed Wireless Internet Access
• Parking Space for Each Bedroom
• Full-Size Washer/Dryer
• Refrigerator/Ice Maker
• Dishwasher
• Stove/Oven
• Multiple Telephone and Cable Outlets
• Patio or Balcony with Storage
• 4-Bedroom Units have 2 Bathrooms (tub w/ showers) and 2 Double Sinks
• Breakfast Bar
• Community Pool
• Community Volleyball Court
• Exercise & Weight Room
• On CAT Bus Line

Because it’s only 1/2 mile away from Campus (by Monteray’s and Skins), I plan on riding my bike to class unless it’s raining. If that’s the case, I’ll drive to class and park in the Commuter spaces. It makes me chuckle when I think that the Commuter spaces in R-1 (“the pit”) are actually closer than I usually park in Aisle 10. Even better, the Commuter pass is half of the price!

If you’re curious as to the nitty-gritty details, here they are:

Rent: $1040/month ($260/person/month) w/o Utilities
NOTE: The Apartments on campus are $5900/person/semester ($590/person/month)
Unit Number: 631 (third floor)
Lease: August 15, 2010 – August 14, 2011
NOTE: Classes start August 18, 2010

Needless to say, I’m extremely excited about next semester. I knew that I wanted to live off campus since Clemson House was designated as freshman housing, but we really lucked into this place with everything that we could want. All I have to do is survive the rest of this year in my windowless jail cell…

Anyway, next semester I will plan on resuming my Spanish classes for a minor in Spanish, along with my dual degree in Marketing and International Business Management.

On another note, I’m thinking about taking ACCT201 online at Trident Technical College over the summer so I will transfer into my junior year (technically my sophomore year) with that credit, rather than taking it at Clemson. It has been said that ACCT201 is the death of business majors, so since I don’t plan on my funeral anytime in the near future, this should be the safe option.

What do you think?

The Hangover Soundtrack – Stu’s Song

Apart from Facebook comments, I had plenty of people text to wish me a happy birthday and a couple more call. Here are some of my favorites:

Susan Hargrave
Hazel Harwood
Ann Combes
Alex Glac
Philip Beechler
Wanda Hayes

And as for birthday presents, I got an awesome pair of Chucks from my friend, David Menzen, and two cards from my mom — one with money and one with a mushy gushy sentiment. Thanks, guys!