The Great Taste of Nothing

I think a lot of these are hiding under my bed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_legendary_creatures

And speaking of mythical creatures…

I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something that I loved from my childhood. Something that would never ever possibly destroy us.

Mr. Stay-Puft.

Okay, I think I’m done for the night. I’m going to go find the Heraldic Calygreyhounds, or Wildcat-deer/antelope-eagle-ox-lion hybrid. Whew! That’s a mouthful. Teehee.

I’m up in Asheville hanging out with some friends, and let me say, this city is confusing. To drive from point A to point B is not simply just getting in the car and going; it involves cursing and fuming and gesturing wildly in the process.

I was getting hungry, so I decided to hop in the car and go grab some Chick-Fil-A (it’s my comfort food). I searched my Tom Tom for a point of interest and easily put in the destination. 30 seconds away from “Chick-Fil-A”, we go through a tunnel, and 30 seconds later, right in the middle, we’re supposedly there. So no Chick-Fil-A. This was not going to fly. I was hungry and starting to get pissed.

I wasn’t going to give up that easily. If that Chick-Fil-A was a bust, there has to be another one somewhere. Indeed there was one in the GPS, so I turn around and follow the new directions. Apparently the signal in Asheville isn’t the best, so my GPS Is going wild and keeps changing directions on me. One minute I’m supposed to be going straight, the next minute I’m passing the turn I should have taken from the other lane! Not to mention the distinct lack of blinkerage and the city-wide speed limit of 35.

Eventually I find the Chick-Fil-A and I’m amazed to see that it’s a drive-through ONLY! This is something I’ve never seen before. It’s not the rinky-dink-drive-through with two windows, but there’s an offshoot from the building with it’s own separate drive-through. In looking at this situation, I was wondering how they got the food from the kitchen in the other building over to the customers at the second drive-through, so I asked the gentleman at the window. It turns out that there’s a train that carries the food through the roof! I just sat there and looked at him with my mouth hanging open until they quickly handed me my food. Seriously! A train!

Not wanting to eat in the car, I chose to take my food to the ample outdoor seating area. It was only then that I saw there was a walk-up service, too! This was the coolest Chick-Fil-A ever.

So, Chick-Fil-A, I salute you.

After seeing how little of the population my age actually volunteers, I’ve never been more proud to be a Boy Scout. Geez, people! Get out and go do something!

But I’m afraid that if I do take a nap, I might not wake up.

Oh, what a shame.

No doubt you’ve heard of Apple’s newest product, the iPad. While I was hoping for more features than it offers, the more I heard about it, the less I wanted one. No multitasking? WTF?

In the first days after the iPad’s announcement, some media and many online commenters criticized the name “iPad”, noting its similarity to “pad”, the common name for a sanitary napkin. Shortly after the launch announcement, the hashtag “iTampon” became #1 on Twitter.

The only thing we’ll have to worry about is whether iffy Wifi coverage be called iSpotting…

Others noted that “iPad” sounds like “iPod” in various regional accents, including Bostonian and the Irish accent. That’s not surprising, considering it’s just an oversized iPod.

All things considered, the iMat is definitely a better investment than the iPad. I’ll wait until 2014 for that to come out. Huzzah! Giant Dance Dance Revolution! Ugh iNeed an Advil.

While watching the Olympics, I made a comment about how curling, as a sport, made no sense to me. This chart helped me out, so hopefully it will do the same for you… just hopefully.

The sport is still stupid, but now easier to understand.

…actually, in this case it was.

Somebody asked me a question the other day and it rubbed me the wrong way. For those who ask me questions in the future, please remember that answering your own question and saying “…, right?” at the end, does not cut it. You should take what answer I give you, even if it’s not the one you’re hoping for.

…just don’t know grammar.

I recently received an email from an academic advisor at Clemson. While she meant to send the email out to a colleague about a listserv, she sent it to all of the people on the listserv.

While a normal person would realize that this email was a mistake, several people hit “Reply All” and unnecessarily sent a message questioning the email to everyone on the listserv.

One of my favorite responses was:
sorry, I dont understand what this is?

I’m not sure if the proper use of capitalization, apostrophes, and question marks is taught in Clemson, but I’m pretty sure that [name redacted for preservation of image] needs to take that class and not Drinking and Slutting 101. (I’m not quite sure if that’s a graduate class or not)

I’m sorry to ruin your TV-watching experience, but everything you thought you knew is wrong. On almost every exterior shot you see on TV, the background is filled in via green screen. Watch this video and prepare to officially have your mind blown. I LOVE television. lol

Find more cool stuff at Stargate Studios.

I’m pretty sure this is the most stupid thing to make headline news…

—

CLOVIS, N.M. (AP) — A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

“I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry,” school Principal Diana Russell said.

State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff’s Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.

In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semi-circle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

“There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door,” said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.

“The kid was sitting there as I’m describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he’s thinking, ‘Oh, my gosh, they’re talking about my burrito.’”

Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

“He said, ‘I think I’m the person they saw,’” Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey’s extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

“We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos,” Morrissey said.

After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.